Tanning Should Be An Olympic Sport

I've heard people say that you can tell an activity is a sport if you sweat...

If that's the case, then my roommate and I have been participating in a sport for the past week. Every day we go next door to to feed the cats, water the plants, and enjoy the spectacular pool we have been given access to. This, of course, involves tanning.

Now, you'd think that tanning, of all things, would be relaxing and not terribly taxing... It's way harder than I thought... AND you SWEAT!!

It all starts with swimsuit selection. You've got to pick a swimsuit that's not going to leave you with terrible tan lines... way harder than you'd think... all the cute ones have weird backs or really thick straps, so it's like finding the Holy Grail when you find one you like that isn't slut-wear

Once you get to the pool, you've gotta swim (it's a rule), and that's a taxing physical activity, I assure you.

After the swimming, you've got to get the chairs lined up to get the most optimum amount of sun. This uses extreme knowledge of the sun's position, geometry, and astral physics... not to mention arm strength.

Now, after you've worn out your body and your mind, you'd think that surely... surely, you'll get to relax and enjoy the sun.

It starts out that way... for about five seconds. Then, you realize that it's Texas in Summer. Hence, it is like being on the surface of the sun instead of just lounging millions away from it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (just an engineer) to see that you're going to sweat buckets.

So, after we went through all these steps and avoided being burnt to a crisp, Meg and I returned to the lovely air conditioned house we're staying in, and realized that we were dehydrated...

We hadn't been RUNNING. We hadn't been JUMPING. We didn't even really SWIM much. We were TANNING after LOUNGING in a deliciously cool pool.

That is why I think tanning should be a sport... no, I take that back. I think it should be an Olympic sport, complete with gold medals and personlized sweats and swimsuits provided by one's home country.